It happens every year. The nightmare where every taken man is dutifully bound to become a romantic and loving figure of perfection, far from the reality of his true identity. But how do we get through it?
I’ve always hated Valentine’s Day. I’ve viewed it as simply an excuse for those that make cards to cash in. Every year, the wife tells me she wants nothing for it and it is down to me to see if she is bluffing.
Birthdays and Christmas have become far more simple since we’ve had Robbie. A picture of him with a scribble on a piece of paper that I can artistically call a painting for mum is more than enough.
I’m not sure whether this is still acceptable on Valentine’s Day. Receiving a card from your Son but not your partner could seem a little weird, so this a fight I must face alone.
So what can I get for the woman who has everything she could ever want? (Robbie and me.)
The box of Doughnuts last year was apparently not great, though I am a smart enough man to realise that was a poor effort. I did allow her to buy a table for herself that day though which saved me a little but hardly puts me level with Romeo.
I have tried more expensive gifts for other occasions. The top of the range sodastream was just given away whilst the delux coffee machine just sits on the counter, wishing that one day it will be shown some love. I know she prefers personalised gifts, but I cannot use Robbie as my saviour anymore and nobody wants a picture of my ugly mugshot.
I realise now after all the failures that gifts are not necessarily the answer. Many women will just hope to be treated like a princess for the day. I could get up early and take care of the boy so she can have a lay in, but I like sleep. I could even cook the dinner for us but like before, this has been tested and did not end well. She wouldn’t actually eat the fantastic meal I created through fear of food poisoning. I enjoyed it though.
So how do I make it through another Valentine’s Day still with a wife? My intention is simply to live like every other day, but a little better. Sarah knows what she wants and is not afraid to tell me. If she wants to go to zoo, we will go. If she wants to stay in, I’ll stay on my now perfectly moulded armchair. I will clean, change nappies, feed my baby and take any other (reasonable) instructions and complete them to the best of my abilities.
Above all else, I will make sure to tell her that I love her even if I am completely incapable of showing it. I realise that I am a lucky man to have her and appreciate her perseverance with my many, many faults.
Thanks for reading and be sure to tune in next week for my first ever blog as a single man. Happy Valentine’s everyone!
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