A not very brave new world
The world had changed. I was Dad. As I held the little man that I had a very small part in creating for the first time, I knew that life would never be the same again.
All I wanted was to get Robbie home and show him around his new house, hoping he would enjoy it more than his last one… But life is never simple.
Sarah was not recovering well from the birth. Sat in the ward at night in complete darkness surrounded by the sound of new borns the only screams I could hear were coming from my wife, this was not right.
Soon enough the doctor arrived and strapped her up to all number of gadgets, drips and other cool looking devices in the hope that this could stop the pain. My wife had began as an angel, turned to a monster and was now a machine. Life was strange.
As the tests continued to the find the cause of the pain, Robbie chose the time to give me my first real challenge as a dad and I failed. Miserably.
“Get rid of that smell ,now Dad!” Came an angry, screaming demand from the machine laying on the bed. I realised that “what smell” would not be an adequate response right now. Perhaps better than “can’t you just do it” but still, this was no time for jokes. That nappy had to go.
Now a wiser man than myself would have been ready for this moment but I am no wise man. Of course I had known that changing nappies would be a big part of my life moving forward, I had assumed I would receive full training from Sarah before going solo on the mission. I was also not informed that the first mission would be in complete darkness and in front of a live audience.
I done what any man would do in this situation, bought myself as much time as I could. A few minutes fumbling around to locate the baby bag, more time to find the wipes and nappy within it and what felt like hours attempting to take off the incredibly resistant sleepsuit blocking my way to the main problem.
I could not waste any more time. Sarah was being incredibly understanding given the circumstances but the doctor was clearly growing impatient at the circus I was inadvertently creating. It was time to admit I was clueless.
“Just pull the bit at the front!” What bit? Why are these so hard? Can I borrow your scissors? A few more minutes of clowning passed until the doctor finally put me out of my misery, sweeping in like a knight in shining armour and changing Robbie’s nappy so that he could continue to do his job. It took him 20 seconds, presumably because he had the skills and years of training as a doctor rather than the fact he was simply not an inept human being like myself. My first challenge as a dad had finished as a crushing defeat.
Since then I have suffered a lot more of these defeats but I have also had some amazing and incredible victories and I am getting better at this Dad thing every day.
I have published many more of these defeats and even sneaked in a few small wins and hope you will take the time to read these too. Hope you are ready to Check out Part 3 of Dad’s diary.
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Day 38 of lockdown part 3, I think. I had promised myself that this time I would be far more productive and spend time getting my life in order, taking advantage of the extra free time rather than just melting further into my armchair.
There’s a definite theme occurring that I can’t help but dispute. Almost each and every time a member of the public stops to talk to Robbie, they refer to him as a ‘little angel.’ Of course, I always give the typical parent reply of “you should see him at home” or something along those lines.
So here we are back in lockdown and to be honest, I’m looking forward and hoping the next few weeks are better than the last.