The diary of Dad

New born babies are strange little things. For all the constant attention they crave and the panic and chaos they create, they do not actually do very much at all.

Robbie had now been with us for a couple of days. He had spent his life so far just laying around the house watching tv and listening to music. I was slightly envious of his lifestyle already but loving enjoying it all with him.

The time had come to take him out and see the world. Until now, his only experience of the great outdoors had been the two yard walk from the house to the car and back and forth to the hospital. There must be more to life than this? Besides, prams are expensive so we had to get a little bit of use out of it.

It was a gloriously sunny day so we loaded Robbie up and packed enough gear to get a through a zombie apocalypse. We planned our route with military precision, ensuring we were covered for any eventuality or trials that may await us. The mission was simple. We would walk to shop, stop at the pub and then return.

It was such a strange and proud feeling leaving the house with our little man. It felt as though the world was watching us and sharing our joy, though the reality is that nobody but us really knew how big this day was.

Negotiating the shop floor was far more difficult than I had imagined. I had already failed five real driving tests but thought I would find driving a pram slightly easier. They really should make these aisles bigger. Somehow despite the many bumps, Robbie had remained asleep throughout. Maybe he was just pretending and was too simply too scared to open his eyes and watch this rollercoaster.

We reached the checkout unscathed, though we were surprised to be asked “what’s that noise?” Listening carefully, neither of us could hear anything. Either this friendly assistant had lost his mind or we had lost our hearing. Then it clicked.

We had, of course, left Robbie’s mobile playing in the pram to help him sleep. Twinkle, twinkle little star in a slow, repetitive and never ending cycle. This had become his theme tune and wherever Robbie went, this fantastic soundtrack followed him. We had obviously built up an immunity to the tones but the rest of civilisation could still hear it and were maybe not as appreciative as Robbie for the free music we were providing.

On to the pub. Now this may seem a strange place to visit on your first ever day out but knowing our location had a large and very quiet garden it made sense. More importantly, Dad really wanted a drink.

I had been to my ‘local’ countless times before and knew it was child friendly. What I had never really considered until becoming a Father was the amount of steps you have to battle to reach the garden. This has not been an issue on legs, but the world is a different place with a pram. Even our military planning had not covered this obstacle.

There was only one way to do this. Remove Robbie carefully and take him down, then pop him back in the pram. Not difficult. Of course we failed and the beast and was now awake, chilling in the beer garden with Mum and Dad!

Panic is not the word to use, but there was certainly now a sense of danger in the situation. Debating whether this lovely sunshine was too much for his delicate skin and trying to plot an escape route should things begin to turn sour and the screaming start. We reached the conclusion that maybe we should drink up a little faster.

Looking back, it is no surprise that he actually caused us no problems at all in that garden. A beer garden has always been one of my favourite places to be and there was no reason to think Robbie would be any different but at that time, we made a swift exit.

We returned home feeling triumphant. Robbie had seen the world, Dad can nearly operate a pram and not a single one of our fears had actually materialised. To this day, Robbie has always been fantastically behaved in public to the point where others comment on how lucky we are. These people do not see him at home at 4AM.

This day was a definite win for us (Possibly our first one!) The previous week had been full of drama and emotional ups and downs but now we were a functioning family and Robbie was a part of the big wide world!

We hope you enjoyed reading our latest adventure! Please feel free to give us a like or a share, we really would be grateful! If you want to catch up from the start, see how it all began!