The diary of Dad

Some concepts are difficult to explain. Despite our best efforts, Robbie really could not get his head around the excitement of new year. A 7PM bedtime probably doesn’t help.

I can’t really blame the boy as I have never shown much interest in the turn of the year either, it’s just a change of number. Sarah is the same and as always, found herself tucked up asleep in bed when Big Ben started chiming.

I’ve never believed in resolutions either. If you want to make a change, why wait until a certain date? The concept seems bizarre to me.

Despite this lack of care, it is human nature to reflect a little on the past and to consider how you might like to change things up in the future. I thought it may be a good idea to sit down with Robbie and work on some resolutions. How wrong I was.

Before even getting the paper out I explained the concept of resolutions and much to my surprise he told me that he already knew what his was. He wanted to get the egg without being spotted by the laser. Obviously.

Stupidly, I continued the mission anyway. Robbie has come up with eight pretty solid resolutions for the year and I thought I’d share them with you.

1. Get better at floor is Lava ( Grinch version)

One of his current obsessions on a youtube channel called generation healthy (Oh the irony!)

This is a 6 minute interactive video involving either doing exercises or dancing until the grinch appears to turn the floor to lava. It’s exhausting, repetitive and a little bit fun I suppose. I’ve no idea how Robbie intends to improve though since he has never lost. Obviously.

2. Don’t get spotted by the laser.

As I eluded to earlier, I have no idea what he’s on about. I’ve asked him again to explain and he just angrily says that he’s already told me. All I know is there’s an egg involved somewhere and a laser to avoid. I just hope neither hits me in the eye.

3. Do stamps.

He got some ink stamps for Christmas. Guess he wants to do them more.

4. Run faster

This one is not a surprise. Robbie has always loved running since he was a toddler. He is also extremely competitive and has never been happy that some kids are faster than him. At this point I almost thought he was beginning to understand the self improvement aspects of resolutions and we had finally made a breakthrough….

5. Play more board games.

Because he likes board games.

6. Racing in cones

This started off similar to the egg and laser discussion in that I had no idea what he was babbling on about. After a little digging it turns out that this is a game in PE at school in which Robbie always finishes third but this year he wants the win. There’s that competitive spirit.

7. Wear Mario shoes

So uncle John and Auntie Robyn won Xmas. They got Robbie a pair of Mario trainers that have quickly become an obsession. So much so that his resolution is to wear them as often as he possibly can. He has already been told no football or muddy activities in them and to our disbelief, he agreed this is a good idea as he loves them so much. Amazing.

8. Play Simon says.

Last but not least…. Well it kinda is least. We’ve never played Simon says and I didn’t know that Robbie had even heard of it. Guess we need to play that then!

To be honest I am glad that he chose this, alongside board games and exercises. He is still a little too addicted to his PlayStation so it was refreshing that the console didn’t get a look in on new years plans. There were also no plots for world domination or ideas of ways to torment his parents further. Could’ve been worse.

Since we’re here and you are, for whatever reason, still reading I’ll briefly share my notes too.

1. Drink less beer. Robbie tells me it makes me sick so I shouldn’t do it. He has a point.
2. Go to bed earlier, get up earlier. I’m almost nocturnal now, it’s not great.
3. Eat healthier.
4. Play floor is lava more. Robbie’s suggestion.
5. Not ache after floor is lava. It hurts.
6. Save money. Same as every year, won’t happen.
7. Help Robbie with his handwriting. I could save money on paper if his writing gets smaller!

That’s it for the resolutions so all that’s left is to break them. Some of you may have noticed that it has been a long long time since I last posted and I must admit it is a sneaky resolution of mine to try and bring this blog back to life. Time will tell I guess but at least I have posted every day this year so far. Thanks for reading and a happy new year! Dad.