The diary of Dad

A couple of weeks I created a post that I thoroughly enjoyed writing. I was looking back and reflecting on all of the changes in Robbie since isolation began and how much I was looking forward to showing him off to friends and family.

It has been such a long time and when I spend all day every day with the little beast it is not always easy to notice the tiny changes every day. Trying to remember what stages of development he was in when he last saw friends and family was both difficult and rewarding and I found myself looking through old photos and videos of him as a beautiful reminder. He has certainly changed a lot!

Some changes are obviously more noticeable than others. His speech is now so much better and he is certainly taking after his Dad in the height department. He could also give Usain Bolt a run for his money now, this kid is quick.

Other changes are more subtle. I can remember that he was counting and could say parts of the alphabet back in those days but he is just so much better with it all now, counting from one to ten and then back down again. Our little angel has also moved from showing us a few little dance moves he has learnt to going through entire routines. Smooth moves.

Being a creature of very strange habit, I finished writing at around 2AM as usual and saved it, ready to post the following evening. The next day, however, the government announced the changes to the lockdown rules meaning that we could now visit family outside whilst maintaining social distance. This was fantastic news to us all but all of a sudden, the context of my post made no sense.

Now this is where things began to get complicated. I have no intention of lying or even twisting the truth on this blog but also have no desire to be controversial. I have grown a real fear of writing anything that could cause offence in any way and in the current climate I now find it near impossible to write anything.

That said, here is the basis of my problem. If I include details of the people that I have met with Robbie since lockdown was amended, I fear others will criticise my actions. Let’s be realistic, how do you keep a toddler two metres away from family? The post also included pictures of Robbie and I out and about which I realised some may be angry about. Long story short, I binned the post.

I want to continue with this blog, though I am just not comfortable writing about anywhere we visit, people we see or things that we do which is pretty much the whole basis of this site. Perhaps I’ve just been too good at isolating having rarely left the house for months and now feel like a criminal being anywhere in public!

So I’ll end this rant/post with a confession that sums up my current feeling. We have some great photos of Robbie playing at the beach and video of him running away as waves come in. Guilty. These were taken at 6AM (He still refuses to sleep) on a completely deserted beach but the fear of backlash has stopped me from sharing.

I really can’t wait until things return to normal. Isolation seems to have left many, myself included, going a little stir crazy. Everyone is a hero or a criminal, a conspiring theorists or a part of problem. Everyone, it seems, must be judged for every action that they take.

Rules of the country are changing on a daily basis with genuine messages getting lost in a tidal wave of false information, twisted news, pushing personal agendas and memes. I do kinda like this one though.

So that’s where I’m at. The safest way for me right now is to say very little so that’s what I have been doing. Football is thankfully returning next week which may give me a steady return to sanity. Perhaps you could argue that now I am a fully qualified Dad and family man, football should be the least of my priorities but the reality is that I do miss it. Everybody needs a form of escape and mine is screaming angrily at the television on a Saturday afternoon before spending the rest of the day having the kind of tantrum my toddler would be proud of. what a life!

Thanks for reading, reality will return soon! Dad.